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We've arrived at the current moment, I think, because of the intersection of two powerful cultural trends. Therapists have long admonished that, from time to time, relationships "take work." But at some point in the past five years, the language of love and the language of labor seem to have entirely dovetailed — especially for women.

But today, applications for jobs as baristas inquire about your "passion for food and beverage service." If it is a gig folding sweaters you dream of, be prepared to gush about your "passion for retail." These two trends — work demanding love, and love demanding work — are connected.

The key is what economists call the "feminization of the economy." Since the 1970s, the collapse of the industrial economy and rise of the service economy has meant that there is more and more demand for "female" skills — like patiently and warmly addressing the needs of others.


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